illusional | 5th l o s t s o u l ~ [Action]

[It was Sunday today. That meant today was the day Cheyenne had to do something she hated doing more than anything else in Luceti.]

[Grocery shopping.]

[She can be found walking around inside the grocery store, holding an empty bag at her side. Every so often she picks something up, frowns at it, and then puts it back. Occassionally she might shake something, maybe even peek under her blindfold in the hopes of getting a better look at it, but so far that bag looks pretty empty. She'll keep this up for about an hour until she's filled the bag, most of it either produce or something microwavable, and then make her way back to CH 6 to drop her things off. Unfortunately, all the snow from the day before was still covering most of the paths, so she'll probably trip once or twice on her way there.]

[That out of the way, Cheyenne moves on to how she usually spends her day: finding various places to relax and perhaps listen to the spirits passing by throughout the village. More often than not, that place is a bridge; the running water of the river underneath is one of the few things she's always able to see, after all. It's much more comforting than the stillness of her apartment, even if it is chillier sitting near the water.]

[And in the evening, after a failed cooking attempt that she won't be in the mood to talk about, she heads to Seventh Heaven to get something to eat there. All in all, a rather normal day for this illusionist.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I'm just... not used to having people notice... [She'd prefer if no one knew, ever.]

Edited 2011-01-29 08:41 (UTC)

[She'll just muse quietly over that for a second, not quite understanding why but making a mental note not to point it out again. Unfortunately, if this girl was blind, that left one more important question.]

If you would not mind my asking, then, how is it that you were able to see me? [Tilting her head.] I noticed you were looking at me before I called out to you. Could it be you have a form of vision not dependent on sight, as well?

It's a combination of things, it took a while to train myself to identify people. [How best to explain something that she still had trouble understanding herself, sometimes?]

The best ways are by recognizing someone's 'presence,' which is made up by their souls and emotions...

Their souls? [Oh, she have her full attention, now.] Then that is something we have in common.

I suppose that is why you approached me? You saw what my soul looked like... that is to say, you saw what was left it.

Y-yes, that's what I saw... [So she really did lack some of it? That... was frightening. If her soul seemed incomplete just because it was sick she could help her, but this?]

... Why is it like that...?

Although I would be rather unable to explain the process in full, the reason I possess so little of my soul is due to the nature of my creation.

That is to say, the process of changing a creature into an illusionist involves tearing out a large portion of their soul. It is simply how I am.

Tearing out? [She's been through experiments involving her soul before, and knows how unnatural and painful it was. But... Cheyenne was still alive...]

... You must be very strong...

Strong?

[Although she couldn't deny that illusionists weren't powerful in her previous world, that wasn't exactly the case here in Luceti. Not as long as the powercap was in effect, at least.]

I do not believe strength has anything to do with it.

[Shaking her head, she can't help smiling a little. Maybe Cheyenne understood what she meant, but Kaori felt the need to clarify anyway.]

I meant your soul. It must be very strong...

That is unlikely. Were I to compare the strength of my soul to that of most creatures residing in Luceti, the amount remaining is rather negligible. Furthermore, had my soul been strong to begin with, I doubt it would have torn apart so easily in the first place.

[Clearly Cheyenne needs to stop being so technical and learn how to take a compliment.]

[Oh you people and your logic and technicalities, she can't help laughing a little. Still... what had Cheyenne lost when her soul was torn?]

I don't believe that's true. Your soul is torn, yet... you're able to think and feel still, right? You seem... to display some compassion, though you're pretty blunt and have a different way of showing it.

Even a creature that has lost its soul is capable of thought, although those thoughts are generally not the sort one would associate with a healthy mind... [She's seen it enough over the years to know.]

I suppose you are right in regards to what I feel. I am capable of limited emotions, yes. However, taking into consideration the amount of time it has taken for myself to get to this point, it is rather unremarkable.

I know they're capable of thought. [She's seen those, too. Talk about a fate worse than death.]

And you may not think it's remarkable, I do. ... You had enough will to choose to keep your emotions, right?

I would not say it was by my own will that I was left with emotions. Rather, to the one who made me what I am today, I would likely be considered an anomaly or a mistake.

[A pause.] ...not that I would prefer the alternative, of course. To have emotions, however limited, is far better.

Mistakes sometimes happen for a reason... [She still finds the fact that you can feel this much of emotion amazing, Cheyenne, no matter what you say. Souls can't be explained with logic where she's from.]

Have others helped you? With your emotions?

Not quite in a direct manner of helping, no. However, I believe simply being around creatures capable of emotions has allowed my own limited feelings to expand.

There is not much need for emotions when one spends their time alone, after all.

Alone...? [That's something she's terrified of, then... there has to be some way for her to help her, right?]

Do you want emotions...?

Do I want them? [There's a pause as she considers that. Hm.]

...I suppose I don't know whether or not I want them. However, to deny they exist would be foolish. Rather, it would be in my favor to understand them so I may function better around others with emotions.

That's good. [At the very least she understood how important it was to have them if she wanted to understand those around her.]

So in a sense, you do want them...

That is one way of putting it. I believe life would be far less interesting if I were unable to comprehend even the slightest feeling.

[A pause.] Then again, without emotions, I suppose one would be unable to feel "boredom" and would not mind such a life. Hm, how puzzling...

5th l o s t s o u l ~ [Action]

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[Action] LJ I hate you for hiding this.

[Action] /also punts LJ