illusional | 7th l o s t s o u l ~ [Voice]

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7th l o s t s o u l ~ [Voice]

[The last event left Cheyenne in a weird place and since then, she's been rather scarce around the village. Aside from getting food at one of the village restaurants, she's spent most of her time either in her apartment or in the forests just outside the village. Today, she's actually back to her usual spot: sitting on the edge of one of Luceti's many bridges, looking down at the water.]

[A few hours of this goes by until she finally opens her journal and poses a question to the residents. The very thing that's been on her mind all this time.]

It is not uncommon for others to ask questions using these journals, yes? [A pause. She wasn't really expecting an answer to that.]

...what do you think it means to be a "person"?

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Ah. Yes.

I imagine the situation you were in left you wondering, as well?

Something like that.

To go from a "person" to a "monster" in an instant upon the experiment's end was... unpleasant, to say the least.

I can sympathise somewhat, though not quite to that extent.

Does it make you think less of yourself? Or is it just something you hadn't considered before?

Perhaps something I had not considered quite to the same extent as before. Although, to think less of myself...

[She trails off with a slight frown.] My apologies. My kind does not process emotions very well. I don't believe I am capable of properly explaining how I was affected.

Ah, well. From what you've said I don't know if the usual definitions would really apply to you. If you want to consider yourself a person then I don't see why you shouldn't.

I am not so certain that I want to consider myself a person. It seems... easier to believe otherwise.

[He's quiet for a minute to think, then a little hesitant when he speaks again.]

Is it because of what you said, about needing to eat souls?

Yes. I have lived my entire existence considering myself to be a monster. Thinking about it any other way is difficult for me.

Because that's what other people call you?

My kind had no name until other creatures developed one and pinned it upon us. It is simply what I have always been called and have always considered myself to be.

[Another thoughtful pause.]

Then why was it unpleasant to return to that identity? Or did you think it was unpleasant to have been an ordinary person for a time?

I am uncertain. Perhaps I had not considered my existence to be an unpleasant one before this event.

Does it... hurt people, when you, mm, feed on their souls?

No. The manner in which I feed now is harmless, so long as the creature I feed from is willing.

[A pause.] However, that has not always been the case.

Does that affect the way you think of yourself?

I fail to see how it wouldn't. My past is a part of what I am now.

But does it make you less of a "monster" if your existence doesn't cause harm to others? Or does it make a difference?

[There's a rather long pause.]

Unfortunately, being the sort of creature I am, my continued existence will cause harm whether it is my intention or not.

Mm. Though I suppose that's true of regular people as well, in a way. They have to eat, build their homes, spread into the territory of other creatures... something always has to suffer so that others can live. I suppose it depends on the degree— or just the perspective.

That is true, yes. However, the degree of that suffering can make all the difference.

I suppose illusionists, given the nature of what our "continued existence" requires, are a rather special case.

Perhaps so.

May I ask why it's different for you now? Was it a choice, or an effect of being here, or...? I mean, you don't have to answer if you don't want to, I just— I suppose I'm curious.

Hm...

My kind is not meant to possess emotions. However, by some anomaly, I found myself capable of experiencing what I later learned to be "guilt". Thereafter, it became quite difficult to continue carrying on in the same manner I had been until that point.

So you already weren't quite like the other... illusionists, then.

No. If I were to be more like sisters, I do not believe I would even be capable of holding this conversation.

I see.

[All right, he's pried enough, and more than enough. Yukito forces his smile back into place, trying to lighten his tone as he changes the subject. It's sometimes hard to tell from the small pictures on journal entries, but he's fairly sure....]

Would your name be, ah, Cheyenne, perhaps?

7th l o s t s o u l ~ [Voice]

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