illusional | 7th l o s t s o u l ~ [Voice]

Entry tags:

7th l o s t s o u l ~ [Voice]

[The last event left Cheyenne in a weird place and since then, she's been rather scarce around the village. Aside from getting food at one of the village restaurants, she's spent most of her time either in her apartment or in the forests just outside the village. Today, she's actually back to her usual spot: sitting on the edge of one of Luceti's many bridges, looking down at the water.]

[A few hours of this goes by until she finally opens her journal and poses a question to the residents. The very thing that's been on her mind all this time.]

It is not uncommon for others to ask questions using these journals, yes? [A pause. She wasn't really expecting an answer to that.]

...what do you think it means to be a "person"?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Oh? You mean to say you were unaffected by the experiment? [Head-tilt.] That week must have been rather strange to witness...

I was affected by it, but it wasn't the sort of perspective I had never seen before.

I see. Perhaps that is for the best. It was rather... unpleasant to awaken on the morning following the experiment. The life constructed for me by the malnosso was a far different existence from what I have truly experienced.

And that's why you're wondering?

Yes. I believe I was under the impression that I was a person over the course of that week, but I have never thought that to be true of myself before.

What was the difference?

My true self is not a person, but a monster. I did not believe myself to be the same sort of monster then as I do normally.

Who decided that?

I believe it was the creatures whom I fed upon in my previous world that created the term. It is what I have always been called and have always associated with.

Would you call yourself a monster, then?

I would and I do. I fail to see how a creature such as myself could be anything less.

Then what do you think it means to be a "monster"?

[A pause.] To one such as myself, that is akin to asking a cat what it means to be a cat. I am because I am. A monster is simply a monster.

However, much like the term "person," it seems there is a discrepancy between my own opinion and the opinion of those I have spoken with.

Then one could argue you're asking people what it means to be a person, and the answer will be just as meaningless. Well, I suppose that also depends on how many here would consider themselves people.

It's all labels, anyway. In the end, it doesn't matter. It's sorting everyone into little boxes and ignoring that they don't all fit properly, because the boxes are so much nicer to look at than everything scattered about.

That might be true for yourself, but such labels seem to be of importance when functioning in society. If not for labels imposed on my kind, I doubt I would be able to as eloquently explain what I am. My kind had no name until we were given one, nor did we have a proper term to explain our powers.

Although I suppose "names" are of a different sort of label as opposed to distinctions such as "person" or "monster".

Names and labels are opposites. Names are put on individuals to identify them as different from the rest. Labels are put on individuals to identify them as one of the same. Names put words to phenomena. Labels group.

Hm. I suppose I never put much thought into distinguishing the two. I spent more of my life without a name, only identifying as the label I had been grouped into.

Did you have a sense of self?

Perhaps, in the sense that I knew I existed. My kind does not naturally have things such as emotions. The first century of my life was spent without them. Therefore, I had little reason to think about anything other than continuing to live.

Did you identify yourself as an individual rather than one from within a group?

Not at first, no.

[A pause. He's really making her think, here.]

Due to the nature of my kind, it is difficult to distinguish one illusionist from another. We also tend not to associate much with each other. It was not until I began spending time around other creatures that I started to see myself as an individual being apart from my sisters.

One could argue that that was when you began to be a person. Of course, this all depends on the definition of certain labels anyway.

But you certainly can't be a person without individuality. That much is definite.

So, to be a person would mean to be an individual, hm. [She couldn't deny that something in his logic made sense, but...]

[Somehow, she just couldn't accept that she could be a person and a monster.]

Yes. I suppose that would depend on how one defines such labels.

An individual, at least. Beyond that, you need to decide for yourself.

I suppose so.

[A pause.]

My apologies for not asking earlier, but I don't believe I got your name.

7th l o s t s o u l ~ [Voice]

[voice]

[voice]

[voice]

[voice]

[voice]

[voice]

[voice]

[voice]

[voice]

[voice]

[voice]

[voice]

[voice]

[voice]

[voice]

[voice]

[voice]

[voice]

[voice]

[voice]

[voice]

[voice]

[voice]

[voice]

[voice]

[voice]

[voice]

[voice]